Just had one of those moments again. One that seems to connect the present waking moment and past dreaming moment. Something I dreamed one night and my awake self took years to get to.
I’m working on my computer like every other day and I open the folder with the VMs in it. There are 3, but one directory is only holding have the VM. Each one takes up 20 gig and the half takes 10. I needed space bad and am think about deleting the half VM. Then I stop and question whether I truly have a full copy and deleting the half is a good idea. Bam. That’s when the flash occurs that I’ve seen all this before, but years ago. And that mindset from then is palpable. From a time when I didn’t know what a VM was, but what it did and that it was very big. And I needed space and was afraid of losing some work. From a time when a 20 gig anything was huge and that the files could be a computer and hold tons of work. The past dreamer knew the what and everything I’m thinking in that instant, but without the connection to the years of familiarity or the how it all got to the current point in the story. Like seeing an Apt complex vs living there; observer vs participant. Just as quick it’s gone. This time I can’t put a year on it, but the feeling is, like many other times, that I was in college or working for UE. When this happens and I was working for UE/college the dreamer would wonder and be confused by the CSStars thoughts; the tiny cube, the near people, and the Dilbertishness of the atmosphere.
As I get older these de je vue experiences fade. The initial ones were so stunningly strong I hated them for years.
And this is why I think time is squishy and not linear for everybody/thing.