Be forewarned. I started this after two beers and ended sober.
One of the things I feel strongest about are my developing religious beliefs. Though, I think religious is not the appropriate word. It’s the idea most people would call religious. My feelings on this surprised me the other day.
See, I came to the end of a line of thinking about 3 years ago that was quite destructive. In my “crises” I seriously considered revisiting the faith I was brought up in. The problem with that was nagging issues with the Christian Baptist belief system
It seems that church requires you to turn off your logical thought for those hours of the week or on those topics. To me this is antithetical and offensive. I have spent well over a decade practicing logical deduction and reasoning. My profession is founded on it. Releasing that thinking process for even a short time is difficult. Like.. well there is no material thing I would trade. Perhaps like giving away a piece of your soul.
So, I sought a belief system that would not require a mental switch off. There had to be one. Buddhism, Hinduism, Muslim,.. Something. So, I went looking. Slowly, I mean the prescription against paganism ran deep. However, in college a friend had shown me her form of Christian worship. Done in a house with only the bible, a hymn and piano, and 10-15 people. I really felt it. That valuable experience taught me that other faiths have merit.
As I learned more about Hinduism, reading book I of Swami Vivekananda and talking to the Indians at work, I really liked it. Reality is a dream. Acts that appear miraculous are a matter of practice or understanding. The very miracles Jesus did, though he never said this. There are many stories of masters performing these acts. Where Christianity has only the one. And he is on a very high pedestal. Hinduism believe that all can have these abilities with work through one or many lives.
A long a winging road entailed. I’m at a point now that I have not been before. I have a broad and expansive belief system. It’s not something I will give up for anything. The thought of pretending or masquerading is offensive. The other day, I was surprised to realize I would be willing to fight to defend it. And fight to defend the ability of others to discover their own truth.
It’s funny to me, because I did not pray. No talking to God or Jesus. Now, I stop every night and thank my two angels. And most times tell them what I want to happen or what to help with for the next day. And some days I talk to God. Or Jesus. Or my higher self (my soul) or the rest of me that doesn’t fit in this body right now. Whatever seems appropriate.
You’ve all seen that quote they like to put on plaques called “Footprints”. And when there is one pair of footprints that means the person was carried by God/Jesus. It’s very cute and inspiring. Well, I don’t like to be carried. I do my own homework. I take responsibility for myself. When I need help, I’ll holler. You won’t miss it.
I am far more “religious” than ever before. And it stuck this time. Not just stuck. It is me. I am peaceful most of the time. How many people do you know can say that?
I picked up ideas from everything I saw and kept the ones I wanted. This is my filter, “Have I experienced this personally?”, “Does it resonate with me?”, and “Does it honor Jesus?” (Hey, I was raised Southern Baptist.)
So, what does this mean? Do I sacrifice a goat on the third Wednesday after the full moon? Not so far.
My bookshelf is pretty varied; The Gospel of Rama Krishna (unread), Edgar Cayce (read), A Course in Miracles (unread), The Gnostic Bible (some read), Black Elk (loved it), Solomae Sananda (loved it), Kant (unread), Carl Jung bio (loved it), Talking to Extraterrestrials (that channel feels lovey), and Llewellyn’s Sun Sign Book 2008 (love it). Plus, in the bedroom Prism of Lyra (loved it), Mastery of Love (loved it), 2 bibles, the Swami Vivekenanda book set, Yoga, Eastern Mediation, How to be a Help to People, 2 Kryon books.. Ok enough. You get the idea. If you don’t recognize these titles look on Amazon. They tap psychology, mysticism, religion, metaphysics, body movement, thought, perception, astrological systems, native american, prophecy, past lives, kundalini,.. My favorites feel loving to me. Love coming from them author.
I guess I’m ranting a bit and I don’t know where to go now. Perhaps..
Church isn’t one day a week. Practicing my “faith” (heh, there’s a longer discussion) isn’t one day a week. Every day I learn and practice the “religion” I made for myself that I feel intimately comfortable with.
I walk my own path and I look back hoping to see someone else following. Not following me or what I believe. I have no aspirations to lead. People making their own way. Choosing to create for themselves instead of accepting the word of others over their own perceptions. That is very important. Believe what you see and feel first. Don’t let others try to frame a context for something they have not experienced. Accept your own authority before accepting others.
That’s it! That’s my “religion”, what I have experienced. That first. The others whom I feel have shared a same or similar experience second. Ones who feel loving third. The rest are a whatever.
Ok, enough overblown crap. Who writes this tripe anyway?