This is a 1 beer post.
So, I guess I’m dating now. Notice, I didn’t say again. I have never been in this state. Every relationship I have been in previously didn’t really have a dating period. It was very quick.
Looking back it seems like all my foibles kept me from doing this. Now, I don’t feel bound by those agreements and seek to choose what new agreements I make with myself. What kind of person to be.
Personally, I think I’m a hot property. I’m mean really no kids or ex-wives. Almost repeated that sentence. A career. Almost deleted that sentence. No serious addictions. Healthy. Smart and educated. A wide variety of interests. Emotionally stable most of the time. And my angels are helpful and cool, but I guess that’s not really me, huh. Well, unless you’ve seen Rudolph Steiner’s diagram.
Anyway, I added some stuff along the side in dating. Blog posts really. I wanted them to have a bit more visibility so I put them in pages to stay on top. My dating resume I guess you could say.
And beer #2.
So, WTF is involved in dating. Beats me. Dinner, conversation, non attachment, “the right thing” to say, impressing someone else, not saying too much, hiding the flaws, and much more.
Looks a lot like sales to me. There’s a reason I didn’t go into sales. I make things. Damn good things. My ass isn’t left off the list.
Why am I writing this? Because I’m frustrated with how long it takes. Because I detest the careful avoidance of certain topics in order to present a “good” ie false and misleading image. Because this post will probably be turned up by a prospective date and I want to express my distaste.
I am not like anyone I have met. In fact, I used to think if I found someone like me I would have to marry them, because that would be so rare. I was 19. LOL.
How do I describe myself? Do you have 60 pages? I’m very Aries. Look it up if you don’t know. The world revolves around me. Oddly, I was reading a lot about Cancer and found it equally compelling. I think, that’s my Ascendant sign. But hour/minute base astrology is difficult. You know times zones, daylight savings, and all.
I can be really intense. Really, I feel sorry for a task at work when it catches my attention. Particularly defects. All of my attention can be focused on one thing. Rare, but if you catch my attention, don’t be afraid. Enjoy it while it lasts, because as soon as something else interesting runs across my field of view you may not have my full attention again.
A lot of things have caught my attention. You can see my list of interests.
I have to have freedom. That could mean a lot of things. Maybe, a better phrasing is that I can’t feel obligated or tied. The end result will be rebellion. Either now or later. It may be devious, manipulative, childish, or more tricks I haven’t learned. This is not an aspect I particularly like, but I have observed it in action enough to act alleviate the feeling before it acts for me.
My communication may not be good. Heh, I know your reading this blog. I sound good. Carry on a conversation well. This is practice. I hide in myself like a crazy person. In my college years I did not need a lot of interaction with other people. Like only 1-3 hours a day. How did I think of that.. Oh yes, everything would fit inside my head. The day finally came when I felt this wasn’t possible anymore. Little tear. This is intended to pull me out. No idea whether it will work.
Half way on the 2nd beer and not getting #3.
Added some more to that last paragraph. Beer #3 seems more tempting. Ah, drunk blogging.. Not really.
Oh, I never drink enough to forget or not be in control. IT NEVER HAPPENS. I can get very sick, but “me” is always in, looser, control.
Hmmm.. #2 is gone.
Being with the little kids for 2000 years. arrrghhhh.. Better f’ing be worth it. Anyways this body..
Actually, I rarely drink. No drugs. Ever. I make my own beer. And pickles too.
< Just wrote the my religion post I'll put up next >
Ok, spent all my time writing my religion rant. Now, I sleepy and sober. Shoulda had #3. I’ll organize this dating stuff. Make it easily searchable. Add posts like what am I looking for in a relationship, in another woman (sorry guys, I like holes that were intended to be in or out and not out only.), and why my legs are disproportionally short in relation to my torso.