One year in college I lived with some great guys. One of whom had a girlfriend who just about lived there with us. Joey and her seemed particularly in love — and highly explosive. My background in personal relationships was very limited. So, I sought to learn some thing from her and I asked a simple question, “When did you start loving Joey?” I asked this question a few different ways, but she was never able to understand me and I gave up.
Perhaps, I can explain better here. At some point two people don’t know each other. They are not “in love”. They meet they talk and they are “in love”. My question is: When does this “in love” feeling happen? What set it off. Why does it happen?
My later experience did not answer this. The next relationship I was in was like, bam! The period between was talking and exclusivity was very short. Later, I think I understand why that happened and what set it off in that case. For a lot of reasons, this is unlikely to happen to me again.
Now dating again, the same question is raised. When is the “falling in love” period? What does it entail? What affects it? How are the people involved affected?